The 2017 Mindset

It's at this time of the year that everyone seems to get super reflective about the passing twelve months and all that they hope for in the coming year. I for one, am totally up for jumping on that bandwagon. No doubt about it, 2017 is going to be a big year. I'm putting my education on hold for a year - the first in SIXTEEN years!!! - to start learning firsthand what it's like to work in the fashion industry. I'll be taking a huge leap into the unknown and the thought of it makes me such a mixed bag of excitement and nerves! I reckon it's going to be the best year of my life so far. It's often said that we're living in a generation of narcissists - and yeah, I can see that. However, I've decided that it's about time I turn my low-key narcissism up a notch and start to really unashamedly shout from the rooftops just how much I absolutely-positively-totally adore myself - because no one else is going to do that for me. I want this to be the most selfish year of my life, for all of the right reasons.

Step number one in my mission of ultimate selfishness: Creating a stress-free environment in which to live my best life. Whether it's been positive or negative, the past year has been particularly emotional and I've been much more aware of my emotional state, particularly in the last half of the year. The most recurring and common emotion I've felt all year has absolutely been one of awe and inspiration, and I've experienced a brand new, overwhelming sense of freedom which I've never felt before. My summer abroad was the perfect selfish indulgence and I am constantly empowered by the thought that I alone made that dream become a reality. I want to keep the spirit of summer alive by enforcing this mindset for the duration of 2017. Adventure is always possible, simplicity is vital to happiness, the only control I have over life's events is how I chose to respond to them. Having had a bit of a tricky year in terms of maintaining relationships, this year I'll be much more wary about giving too much of myself away to other people while getting very little back in return. I'm happy to be selective about the number of people I let into my life because I know the emotional damage that betrayal can cause and I know the importance of having a strong and concentrated support system to keep me sane. In 2017, if drama finds a way of snaking into my life, it won't be self-inflicted and I will respond with absolute dignity and perspective... woo! 

It definitely took the course of 2016's events to produce a solid mindset which will hopefully carry me through 2017. It often felt this past year as though I'd been cursed - I seemed to struggle with an influx of difficult situations all at once and I seriously started to wonder what I'd done wrong to have so much go wrong for me on such a personal level. Fear not - my 2017 mindset is a lot less 'woe is me' and I'm back on fighting-form. I'm continuing with the determination that's guided me through the last year and I'm approaching everything like the empoweredbadassgoddess woman that I am!!! I can say from experience, however, that trying to maintain an unwavering determination and positive outlook is incredibly tiring, so a big priority of mine this year will be about taking more moments to consciously relax and unwind. I'm a big believer in the power of 'treating yourself' but one aim for the next year is to find much more cost effective ways in which to do so! My skin seems to have gone crazy in the last few weeks and I've started having clusters of break-outs on my face that I've never really suffered with before, so I've already instigated a (long-overdue) skin routine which I've done a really good job of sticking to for the last couple of weeks of 2016. I'll be seeing that through for the duration of the year and hopefully I'll figure out what works best for me - recommendations would be much appreciated.

So there's nothing really too momentous about my plans for tackling 2017. I don't have any huge resolutions that I feel massively pressured to achieve. I do have a lot of personal goals I intend to reach but I always prefer to stay quiet about them and meet my own expectations first, over other people's! It's all quite simple really: I'm going to be happy - happier than I've ever been - and it's the mindset I'll maintain that I'll owe my happiness to. 2017 has the potential to be the most unpredictable year ever, so all I really know for sure is that I'll be spending it entirely out of my comfort zone and as my most unapologetic self. 

Capturing 2016

2016 has been a bloody whirlwind... wait no, not a whirlwind - a monstrous hurricane, with an off-the-scale earthquake and a lil tsunami thrown in on the side. This year it seems like the whole world has had to take a necessary step back to reflect on the huge events that have taken place. It's hard to overlook the political turmoil and humanitarian crises which have dominated the year, but I'm a newly converted believer in silver linings and the importance of finding inner peace - so I'm here to reflect on the highlights of the year and give myself praise where praise is due for making it such a memorable one. Please, don't roll your eyes at me as I fall victim to that cliché saying: 

"it's been a year of highs and lows..." 

...and blah, blah, blah - because it really has been and I think I need a hug. I've packed a lot of special moments into the past 347 days (and counting) and I thought it would be a nice idea to compile them into a blog post to celebrate the end of what has been the most challenging, exciting, terrifying, sad and happy year of my life. 

JANUARY - NEW YORK

The year got off to a good start as I jetted across the world to New York for four days at the beginning of January. The whole trip was put together quite last-minute by my university and with a few spare places available, I made the spontaneous decision to go and explore a city I've long dreamed of visiting. I ate an authentic New York salmon and cream cheese bagel, mastered the art of the pedestrian crossing/traffic light system, got caught in a blizzard at the top of the Empire State building and basically just fell more and more in love with every passing minute. I've never felt more instantly 'at home' in a new place than I did in New York and I really hope next year brings me back for another adventure. I've felt the city's magnetic force and now I can feel it pulling me back everyday.

JULY - INTERRAIL TRIP AROUND EUROPE

It wasn't easy to choose just one particular moment from my month abroad in July because every moment makes my heart so happy, but I think I've made a good choice with this snap during my time in Budapest of what felt like the most special place in the entire city. I visited the Fisherman's Bastion everyday, watching the world go by and feeling SO happy to be doing something I'd dreamed about doing for most of my teenage years. In the beginning, starting off in Berlin, everything felt like a bit of a mission. I was enjoying myself - obviously - but I was also super cautious, worrying about x, y and z and all of the potential hazards of being young, female and alone. It was at this point in my trip that I started to get really confident with my travels. I was staying out later in the evenings to explore in the dark and spending time much more comfortably with the people I met in my hostels along the way.

AUGUST - LEEDS FESTIVALIt was during this brief period of the year where I consumed copious amounts of alcohol and cried a lot, although I'm glad it looks like I'm having fun in this photo. Truth be told, I actually was having fun! It was my first evening at Leeds Festival towards the end of August. I was sporting blue eyeliner and greasy fishtail plaits, covered in glitter, freezing cold and wet, and running mostly on adrenaline. I volunteered with Oxfam at the festival this year and wrote a post about my experience which you can view here! It was a really good experience to be part of a friendly little community and to actually be fundraising money for really important causes through the work I did. It also got me a free ticket into the festival, access to semi-decent toilets, a few free meals and a nice, clean campsite. It was an especially challenging time, but I'm so glad I spent that week disconnected from the rest of the world and powering through.

OCTOBER - BACK AT UNIVERSITY

This photo was taken during Leeds Light Night in October which was a cool way to see a different side of a city that I've been getting to know much better this year, as I now commute to and from to work part-time there. I felt so relieved at this point in the year to be getting stuck back into university and enjoying having a solid routine and something worthwhile to concentrate on again. With hindsight, having just completed the first term of my second year, I think perhaps I was a bit naive! I'm feeling quite wiped out from the all of the stress, long days and late nights but I'm hopeful that it'll all have been worth it when I get the marks on my latest assignments back in January.

NOVEMBER - TURNING TWENTY

I'd spent a huge amount of time thinking about my birthday this year. The big two-oh was a daunting prospect and I'm still not totally comfortable with saying it when someone asks my age! Here I am cutting my (very adult-appropriate) rainbow sprinkle cake which I was really excited about. I really enjoyed my birthday and it felt good to spend it with friends, even if the night didn't exactly go to plan - hasn't that been the story of my life this year, anyway? It's strange that the idea of being an adult was so different in my mind as a child/teenager than it is in reality. I think about life back in 2008 and it feels like it was only a few years ago, as though time has barely even passed during all of those years. I expect it'll feel the same when I think about 2016 in a decade's time. 

 It's a sad truth that a lot of 2016's moments have been stored in some distant, detached part of my brain which I can't really bare to revisit yet, but I have huge amounts of hope and determination that this time next year, I'll be sat here typing away with total positivity about the way that 2017 unfolded. I hope that things will be going spectacularly on the career-front and that I'll have bagged the internship of my dreams. I hope that I'll feel at peace with my own personal conflicts and that the world will be a less hostile place. In particular, I hope I'll be able to say that my health, wellbeing and happiness remained the priority in every decision I made. 
No distractions and no precious moments wasted.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

I'm currently writing this from the dark depths of the library on a Saturday evening, with nothing but a 3000 word report and a portfolio of CV/intern development standing in the way of me, my happiness and all of the Christmas festivities that await me. To take a break from the sheer agony of yet another SWOT analysis or inDesign layout, I thought I'd take myself back to (slightly) more chilled out days and reminisce on my latest trip to Manchester. I had a bit of an impromptu outing last month with the uni gals to visit the Fashion on the Ration exhibition at the Imperial War Museum. I made the most of the rare opportunity to visit one of my fave cities by bringing out my brand new and beautiful Zara coat which I got for my birthday and (keep it on the down-low) may have opened a bit early. I literally can't stop looking at it. I didn't realise it was possible to adore an item of clothing so much until now. I think it's love. The mix of colours in it are so beautiful and like nothing I've ever owned before. I feel like it'll translate well into my wardrobe during all seasons - the plum tones are v autumnal but I'll appreciate the pops of pink and red when spring eventually rolls around. I teamed my dreamy coat with a basic black turtle neck jumper from Primark, my beloved M&S Archive by Alexa skirt, a pair of fishnets and some western-style River Island boots. Also, when fur collars are no longer a thing (although I hope they stay forever) I can detach it - but why would I ever wanna?! I always find it so amazing what a good piece of expensive and much-loved clothing can do for your mood. It was a bitter, drizzly day out on the grimy streets of Manchester but I felt blummin' marvellous. 

On the topic of moods and feeling marvellous, I thought I'd take this opportunity - given my current, unfortunate location in the library right now - to talk about how utterly UNmarvellous I am currently feeling. From an outsider's perspective, my day has been pretty hard going. I haven't really had a 'proper' lie-in in weeks and sadly, despite it being the weekend, today has been no exception. I battled a million and one Christmas shoppers onto a lunchtime train to get to work where we were packed in shoulder-to-shoulder. From work, I came straight here - I picked up a McDonald's for tea (my second in a week) and now I inevitably feel like shit. I'm catching up on all the vlogmas videos that I've been falling behind with although my battery is seriously starting to dwindle and literally all I want is to be wearing my pyjamas and drinking wine from the bottle. Despite it all, I'm trying to be optimistic. I didn't meet my personal targets for the evening (I had planned to finish a project) but then again, my expectations of myself are always too high. And although everything always takes so much longer than I expect it to, I'm finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. All I need is some cheery Christmas songs to help me through my long walk home and the promise of hot chocolate and much Nutella once I make it back. Time to wrap up in my bloody beautiful coat and face the cold wind and rain. I'll be back here in twelve hours time. Christmas holidays - Please. Come. Quick.